[ The days leading up to it tell of the inevitable and every time it happens Tris finds himself slipping out into town to get a few provisions before texting Dani a brief: COMING OVER. He doesn't wait for an answer (because he knows that Dani is either already tucked away under his blankets or just too lethargic to actually type out a half-hearted "no." Even after a couple of years, Tristan has found that you learns the ins and outs of someone quickly when you share so much intimately with them.
He doesn't knock (Dani's not exactly going to answer wrapped up in his nest), just slips inside with a paper bag under his arm and a blanket to join the nest pile. ]
Head up, beautiful, [ he calls into the room, shutting it with his heel and slipping over towards the bed with soundless steps. He leaves his sneakers over by the door and sets the bag down just beside the bed.
The blanket is the first offering, warm and dark blue. Gently, he slides a hand underneath what he can only presume is Dani in a shapeless lump-form, searching for something (maybe a braid, maybe a fingertip, just to touch.) ]
[He doesn't check his phone. It's on silent, left ignored on the bedside table. He does, however, hear the door open, and hear Tris coming in and speaking. But he doesn't react.
This happens every time. He doesn't want the company, but a part of him knows he needs it, so this time he doesn't argue. He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and lets it out in a soft sigh, trying not to cry again.
He hates this. He has nothing, absolutely nothing to feel sad about. His life is fine. He has plenty of friends, plenty of people who love him, and the world is beautiful.
So why does he hate himself? Where do these dark thoughts come from?
He doesn't know.
Tris's hand touches Dani's, and Dani almost pulls it away. Instead he lets Tris touch him, then wraps his hand around Tris's.]
[ Tris speaks softly as he feels Dani's fingers gently curl around his own, palm finding palm. ]
Feeling low, huh?
[ It's par for the course. Dani expends so much of his magic and it isn't exactly his fault. The output is off the charts, that much Tris has known (and maybe has envied a bit) since day one. But overtime he has learned that they all have their strengths, and Dani's is war-like and earth-shattering in a terrifying sort of way. There's no way he could carry that all this time and not feel an ounce of that backfire on him emotionally.
Tris presses his knee into the mattress, but doesn't lay down on it just yet, only guides his hand a little so he can get the gist of where Dani is under the blankets and sits on the edge, still holding his palm. ]
Squeeze for yes. Pinch for no. [ Dani's not talking, and trying to get a word out of him will probably be futile until Dani feels good and ready for it. ] Do you want a hug?
[Dani's incredibly grateful for Tris, his understanding, and his patience. Even though he really kind of wants to be alone, what he needs is Tris there, being with him, despite the mess he is.
After a moment, Dani gently squeezes Tris's hand.
He wants a hug.
He actually shifts and sits up, the blanket falling down from his head as he scoots over and leans his head on Tris's shoulder, pressing his face into his shirt.
His hair is tangled, basically a rat's nest, and his eyes are rimmed with red from crying.]
[ Tris looks at Dani's hair, caught up in knots and then catches his eyes up with his own, mouth falling a little into a thin line. He wraps an arm around him, sliding a little further up onto the bed and leaning back to give himself a little support as he wraps Dani up in his arms. It's an easy thing, hugging Dani, effortless in the warmth he wants to offer, doesn't mind giving to him as he lets him fit in all the right places.
His hands are always warm, so he slides them up Dani's arms briefly, the energy there apparent and clearly belonging to his class, lending itself in strength in a way, just enough to console. ]
That's good... [ he murmurs softly, pulling Dani further up into his arms so he can press his cheek to the top of his head before he kisses it briefly, tangles and all. ] I brought Sacgeo homework for you when you're feeling up to it. Thought it might be nice for when you're feeling a little better. I know you're good at that stuff and the patterns we worked on today were beautiful. You might like 'em.
[ He rubs a hand slowly down his back. ] Brought food too, just little stuff, didn't know if you were hungry or anything...
[Dani sighs into the hug, melting into it and wrapping his arms around Tris's waist as he listens to him talk. It feels good. It helps. The magic is enough to keep him grounded, keep him from burying himself in his sadness.
He's quiet for a long moment, then takes a breath.]
[ Tris smiles a little at that, pushes some of Dani's hair back from his forehead and lays a kiss there too gently. ]
The bakery in town owes me a favor after the owner's daughter got married last week so I picked up some chocolate croissants. Picked up some candy at the pharmacy... Got some soup too--tomato.
[ His voice fades a little bit as he wraps Dani up a bit more, keeps him closer and lets his warmth pour a little more heavily into him. It isn't hard, sharing his magic with Dani, it's almost effortless. It's less to cheer him up, more to strengthen him. He can't haul him out of how he's feeling, he can only throw down a rope and urge him on with careful touches. He smoothes away the hair behind his ear and smiles a little. ]
I came prepared, okay? And I can run out if you want something else. [ He squeezes a bit. ]
[Just as easily as Tris offers his magic, Dani absorbs it, feels it filling him up. He closes his eyes and leans his face into Tris's shoulder, breathing him in.]
Thank you.
[You shouldn't have, is what he doesn't say. I don't deserve it, is also what he doesn't say, though the thoughts are very clear in his mind. He doesn't deserve this love. He's not worthy of it. He's not worthy of anything.]
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BUMPS INTO THIS
He doesn't knock (Dani's not exactly going to answer wrapped up in his nest), just slips inside with a paper bag under his arm and a blanket to join the nest pile. ]
Head up, beautiful, [ he calls into the room, shutting it with his heel and slipping over towards the bed with soundless steps. He leaves his sneakers over by the door and sets the bag down just beside the bed.
The blanket is the first offering, warm and dark blue. Gently, he slides a hand underneath what he can only presume is Dani in a shapeless lump-form, searching for something (maybe a braid, maybe a fingertip, just to touch.) ]
yes good
This happens every time. He doesn't want the company, but a part of him knows he needs it, so this time he doesn't argue. He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and lets it out in a soft sigh, trying not to cry again.
He hates this. He has nothing, absolutely nothing to feel sad about. His life is fine. He has plenty of friends, plenty of people who love him, and the world is beautiful.
So why does he hate himself? Where do these dark thoughts come from?
He doesn't know.
Tris's hand touches Dani's, and Dani almost pulls it away. Instead he lets Tris touch him, then wraps his hand around Tris's.]
no subject
[ Tris speaks softly as he feels Dani's fingers gently curl around his own, palm finding palm. ]
Feeling low, huh?
[ It's par for the course. Dani expends so much of his magic and it isn't exactly his fault. The output is off the charts, that much Tris has known (and maybe has envied a bit) since day one. But overtime he has learned that they all have their strengths, and Dani's is war-like and earth-shattering in a terrifying sort of way. There's no way he could carry that all this time and not feel an ounce of that backfire on him emotionally.
Tris presses his knee into the mattress, but doesn't lay down on it just yet, only guides his hand a little so he can get the gist of where Dani is under the blankets and sits on the edge, still holding his palm. ]
Squeeze for yes. Pinch for no. [ Dani's not talking, and trying to get a word out of him will probably be futile until Dani feels good and ready for it. ] Do you want a hug?
no subject
After a moment, Dani gently squeezes Tris's hand.
He wants a hug.
He actually shifts and sits up, the blanket falling down from his head as he scoots over and leans his head on Tris's shoulder, pressing his face into his shirt.
His hair is tangled, basically a rat's nest, and his eyes are rimmed with red from crying.]
no subject
His hands are always warm, so he slides them up Dani's arms briefly, the energy there apparent and clearly belonging to his class, lending itself in strength in a way, just enough to console. ]
That's good... [ he murmurs softly, pulling Dani further up into his arms so he can press his cheek to the top of his head before he kisses it briefly, tangles and all. ] I brought Sacgeo homework for you when you're feeling up to it. Thought it might be nice for when you're feeling a little better. I know you're good at that stuff and the patterns we worked on today were beautiful. You might like 'em.
[ He rubs a hand slowly down his back. ] Brought food too, just little stuff, didn't know if you were hungry or anything...
no subject
He's quiet for a long moment, then takes a breath.]
What food?
no subject
The bakery in town owes me a favor after the owner's daughter got married last week so I picked up some chocolate croissants. Picked up some candy at the pharmacy... Got some soup too--tomato.
[ His voice fades a little bit as he wraps Dani up a bit more, keeps him closer and lets his warmth pour a little more heavily into him. It isn't hard, sharing his magic with Dani, it's almost effortless. It's less to cheer him up, more to strengthen him. He can't haul him out of how he's feeling, he can only throw down a rope and urge him on with careful touches. He smoothes away the hair behind his ear and smiles a little. ]
I came prepared, okay? And I can run out if you want something else. [ He squeezes a bit. ]
no subject
Thank you.
[You shouldn't have, is what he doesn't say. I don't deserve it, is also what he doesn't say, though the thoughts are very clear in his mind. He doesn't deserve this love. He's not worthy of it. He's not worthy of anything.]